Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Earth Day 2012

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012

For most farmers and ranchers, everyday is Earth Day. Talk to any farmer or rancher, they are always worried about the environment, it’s “too hot, too dry, too wet, too much sun, not enough sun, too much wind, too many weeds,” I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. However, there is an actual Earth Day, that people not in agriculture, celebrate and acknowledge. I wanted to participate in Earth Day too, but I had choose between staying here on the Ranch, or going to watch my Boyfriend play in the Chico News & Review Cammies.

My little garden with the fake fence that the deer laugh at.

Since I’ve been so critical of the CN&R’s ag reporting, I thought it best to practice what I preach and use the ag degree and basic knowledge of plant science I have acquired to lessen my carbon footprint and to celebrate Earth Day by planting some food. I know the Cammies would have been an awesome time, but since I am a rancher, and the environment is life to me, I felt that planting my garden was a better use of my rare day off. Even though all local music is important to me, and I am trying to lead by example, I’m sure the CN&R will forgive me for living the dream.

Every year, in the spring, without fail, I get spring fever. I break the old VISA out, head to Home Depot, and spend enough money to ensure I’ll stay at my in-town job for another year. About mid-June, right about when everything is ready to harvest, the bane of my existence, rats with horns, (the deer) break into whatever ugly, booby-trapped, excuse for a fenced in garden I have, and eat all things. Then they poop on the bare earth and run away into the night, gleefully laughing and burping cucumber burps.

I planted 2 different types of radishes. They both have the same amount of days until harvest, so it will be a surprise every time I harvest!

I swear, I’m never, ever, ever going to plant another thing until I have a proper fenced in garden, or greenhouse, or move to town where people don’t have to deal with the damned deer. Every year, about mid-April, the cycle starts again. Sigh.

Hundreds dollars and three years later, I’m getting a whisper better at the deer control. As you recall last year, I went a little crazy buying dwarf citrus trees and planting them in up-cycled cattle supplement tubs. My logic behind the tree planting was the deer wouldn’t eat them! The deer ate them. Several rolls of wire and tree cages later, the deer can’t eat the trees and they just happen to form a convenient fence that does a decent job of keeping the deer out. I’ve also added a wire fence around my raised bed, making it even harder for those damned deer to get in, and next weekend, it’s getting a lid!

I love supplement tubs! They make the perfect radish bed.

Now my grand plan is to continue planting trees as the cattle continue to eat their supplements. In another year or two I should have enough containers to plant a tree fence all the way around my yarden. Until that time, I am continuing with the ugly, booby-trapped ultimate-fail, garden.

So be ready for a blog I will write in a couple of months where I swear I’m going to get tags and have garden-finished venison for dinner.

My poor citrus tree fence. The trees are slowly recovering from the vicious deer attacks of last summer.

As a reminder, gardening is hard work. I’m hot, sweaty, sun burned, cranky, and I have a blister. Remember that when you feel guilt about not having a garden! There is a reason why people stopped doing it. Incidentally, if you chop jalapeno peppers the night before, and wear your garden gloves the next day, the sweat from your hands will activate the pepper burn from the night before. And there is nothing you can do about that once it happens (protip: wear gloves when you cut hot peppers! For the love of God).

But on the flip side, gardening is fun! I burned so many calories, I can have a milkshake later if I want to, I’m going to have really yummy veggie’s later this summer (or rather the deer will), and this is an excellent reminder to myself that not everyone wants to or can garden and it is really incredible that we have that choice.

The Boyfriend's "new" saddle.

Ok, off my choice soapbox, and back to Earth Day. Like I mentioned above, in honor of Earth Day, I finished my garden (I mean, is a garden really ever finished?), and my boyfriend and I oiled saddles (that way we can use horses to check cows and not ATV’s).

Isn't this a neat old saddle? Look at the brass horn.

One cool method of gardening I would like to share with you is growing potatoes vertically instead of in a plot. Since I only have a small raised bed in my yarden, I try to maximize my growing space by using  a lot of containers. Also anytime I can add to my deer fence, I’m game. You can google this method and find some really great tutorials. I’m going to give you the quick and dirty cheat-sheet here.

Potatoes growing up!

I made a cage of  up-cycled wire and cultivated the earth inside of it, placing the sprouted Yukon Gold potatoes in a circle in the cage. I covered them in soil and when they sprouted, I lined the sides of cage with paper, and I added mulch to cover the vines.

The vine covered in mulch.

I will continue to do this, letting the vine grow, building the cage with paper and covering in mulch, until I reach the top of my cage. When that happens, expect another blog about how to harvest them and some yummy recipes. Happy Earth Day!


The Continuing Quest; CN&R

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

I enjoy learning. I enjoy a challenge. I also LOVE to “stir the pot”  or “push the envelope”. Mainly because this is how I learn best. Getting outside my comfort zone often forces me to think about a subject in a way I never considered before, which usually leads me to a new point of view. This method of learning isn’t always easy for people, but like that Thomas Dewey quote says, “Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.”

As many of my readers are aware, I’ve been on a quest lately. This quest involves one of our local papers, the Chico News and Review. For as long as I can remember, they have held an “alternative” view about agriculture. Maybe “alternative” isn’t the best word to use, perhaps “negative” would be a better word? Regardless, we are entering our third week of publicly asking CN&R to do their due diligence and report the facts when they talk about agriculture – unfortunately it looks like we are getting the opposite effect.

One of my biggest “beefs” (lol, get it?!), are the sources CN&R use in their paper, in regards to agriculture. They are less then awesome, factual, or science based. For example, I’m willing to bet Farm Sanctuary is not going to provide the best, fact based, and relevant information when it comes to animal agriculture. Same with Grist.com, in all of my many years in agriculture I’ve never once found myself saying to the cowboy next to me, “did you read that well done, fact based article about cattle production in Grist?”

Ms. LaPado's response to Jenny Dewey's (of Chico Locker and Sausage) letter to the editor.

I think a great example of what I am talking about here can be found in this week’s edition of the CN&R. Instead of doing any independent research about the topic, or even verifying the validity of the reported information (you know, like calling the plant that makes LFTB, or interviewing the meat scientists that made themselves available to her), Ms. LaPado regurgitated less than factual information from other media sources. She didn’t even research what LFTB actually looks like, she used a stock picture of mechanically separated meat (MSM), which is chicken. Chickens (poultry) and cows (beef) are two different species, Ms. LaPado.

It’s sad, and I hope I mis-read this, but in a way, I feel like Ms. Lapado’s column tried to “slime” our local butcher shop, Chico Locker and Sausage. This might be a good time to remind Ms. LaPado how supportive Chico Locker is to our local community. Chico Locker has always been very generous with their knowledge and time. In addition to giving demonstrations to our local Weston Price Foundation, they are also incredibly supportive of our local 4-H and FFA groups. They also are one of the few family operated slaughterhouses in our area. Without Chico Locker, this community of local farmers and ranchers would be in a world of pain. My point is, this is a local business that rallies around our community. Trying to portray Chico Locker as the bad guy for providing truthful information to our community, is just wrong and in really poor taste.

The other article that grabbed my attention immediately was about GMO labeling. Well, in addition to a letter to the editor that supports GMO labeling.  California is being threatened with potential legislation that would require labels on food that contain GMO ingredients. The article states that Safeway refused to allow paid signature gatherers to harass their customers. The article didn’t mention that Trader Joe’s did the same thing. Or that food labeled organic is already GMO free. Or that forcing us to label GMO food will make food more expensive. Or that GMO food has been proven safe again and again.

Heck, I even asked the CN&R if they called the manager of Safeway to get their side of the story. And I asked why they didn’t include Trader Joe’s in the article, because they did the same thing. No one responded.

No response, yet.....

Like I mentioned above, we’ve had this little movement going for a couple of weeks now. And it seems to me that the CN&R is enjoying this, it’s like a game to them. They don’t seem to care that beef prices are down, hurting family farmers like me, they don’t seem to care that people are out of jobs because beef plants are closing down. They don’t seem to care that there are repercussions from their actions. That really scares and concerns me.

From Butte County Farm Bureau (another wonderful resource!)

Butte County’s main source of venue is agriculture. We have two agricultural colleges. Hundreds of family farmers and ranchers live, work and die here. So this makes me question – what is behind CN&R’s response?


My Day on the Ranch

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

Between my various jobs and activities, I’ve been a very busy girl lately. And I was starting to feel it. So when my Parents asked me if I could get a day off from my office job in town, to Ranch sit while they went on their yearly trek to buy ranch supplies, I jumped at the chance. Luckily, my office job in town is 30 kinds of awesome, and I got the day off!

As a rule, we never leave the Ranch empty. We’ve had too many bad experiences. Plus our house is like Grand Central Station, people are constantly coming and going. My friends often comment on what peaceful lives we must have on the Ranch. I just have to laugh, while country life certainly does have its moments of peace and calm, more often than not, the Ranch is a never ending source of entertainment and drama.

I was determined to unplug and really enjoy the Ranch, during my rare day off. I desperately needed some animal time. I also wanted to share some of the neat things I get to do when I have free time on the Ranch. One of those things is playing with our cows.

I think it is important to play with the cows, to walk through them, to talk to them and visit with them. That way when we have to move them, or vaccinate them, they aren’t scared of us. And if they aren’t scared of us they are less likely to have the flight or fight reaction to us, and that means less stress, less injuries and an all around better experience will be had by all.

Back when I was in 4-H, I had some steers that loved treats. Now you ask, what do cows consider treats? Well, like people, it depends on the cow. I’ve had steers that loved pumpkins but hated tomatoes. They would love stale bread but turn their lip up at an apple. Cows are weird.

I’ve had a pumpkin on my front porch since November; I’ve been waiting for it to decompose so I can get the seeds out of it to plant this summer. My pumpkin finally melted and I saved my seeds (I know the deer will really appreciate my garden this year, why do I even bother?!). I decided to take the rest of the pumpkin out to the cows so they could have a little treat and I could spend some time with them.

I also took a video of the calves’ reaction to the pumpkin. This years’ calf crop has never seen a pumpkin before this point, so it amused all of us.  Make sure you watch all the way to the end to see the Mama cow show you what she thinks of the treat.

http://youtu.be/2zExXy8IFxM

The cows and calves feel really good, they have fresh grass, warm sun and lots of energy! They know our dogs and love to see what they can get away with before the dogs have enough. In this video, I have Hoot, Jinx and Nikki , and they get to have a little cow time. Remember Nikki is retired so this is a big deal for her! She can’t hear so well and isn’t has fast as the pups, but she still loves get a cow once in a while. Watch Hoot get embarrassed at the end when she realized she didn’t “hear” me.

http://youtu.be/yg5noeHDdNU


Before it Was Cool

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

20120402-160416.jpg

In an effort to get me to write more, my Mom sent me this picture. I must have been about 6, because I was riding my unicorn horse Sequoia. I called Sequoia my unicorn horse because he was a mustang from the BLM and at some point during his life he had run into a barbed wire fence which created scar on his face that reminded me of a unicorn horn. This was taken on one of the cattle drives we had. We would spend a week pushing the cattle up to the Plumas National Forest, where they would spend their summer grazing high country meadows.

Most of my childhood memories involve horses, cattle or the Ranch. When you grow up an only child on a large cattle ranch in the country, your activities do have a tendency to be limited. When I was a little girl, the Ranch was very old school. My Great Aunts and Grandfather were still alive and running the Ranches, that means everything was done just like their Parents did it.

My Dad was the ranch-hand during this time. Like all successful ranchers, my Dad was lucky enough to have a wife (my Mom), that worked in town. This was awesome because we had health insurance and a steady income, unlike most people in my Dad’s position.

One of the many unique aspects of my youth was instead of going to day care or having a babysitter like normal children with working parents, I had a horse. This horse made me an asset at an early age. Of course, to me, this was normal. Until I started school, I thought everyone had horses and cows. That cattle drives high into the mountains was what everyone did during their summers. It was quite a shock to my little 4 year old self when I realized I wasn’t normal.

By age 4 or 5 most ranch kids are professionals. We work, we have responsibility, we have jobs. I was no different. By the time I started Kindergarten, I had life experience that most adults would never have. From getting a piggy back ride from Mr. Clint Eastwood, to going on weeklong cattle drives twice a year.

My Great Aunt Mary lived on the same Ranch as we did during the winter. I had a wonderful relationship with her. I spent a lot of time with her, because she was our only neighbor. Instead of going out and playing with neighborhood kids I played with animals and old family members. She grew up during the Depression; therefore she saved everything from old mayonnaise jars to the twist ties that closed bags of bread. In fact we are still finding these “treasures” in our barns.

One item reminds me of Aunt Mary more than anything else, and that is maple syrup. Every time I see a bottle of it, I am instantly whipped back to 1986. Aunt Mary would save all of her empty maple syrup bottles for me and whenever my Dad and I worked for her in the summer, she would bring me cold water in an upcycled syrup bottle. To a hard working 4 year old cold, maple syrup flavored water is just about the best thing ever.

Recently upcycling has become trendy and green. A fact that never fails to amuse me since it seems like most farmers and ranchers were upcycling long before it was cool. Currently I battle with my Parents over old barn wood, I NEED it for my various pinterest projects and my Dad keeps trying to re-build corrals with it. It’s a vicious cycle of recycling.


Head On Collision With a Snow Bird

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Does anyone know what a Snow Bird is? Are any of you Snow Birds? Will become Snow Birds in the future? If so, cool. While collisions with Snow Birds can be frustrating or slow at times, I’m still appreciative of what Snow Birds offer, especially to the Ag community.

[For those who don’t know, Snow Birds are usually retired folk who RV their winters away, usually to destinations warmer, like Imperial Valley or Yuma, AZ]

While down south last week I had, not my first, second, third…or last collision with some Snow Birds. I was in Holtville checking up on some Romaine Heart harvesting crews. I needed to speak to some foreman and supervisors and make sure they were committed to coming back north and helping me out in Santa Maria for our summer harvest. To look important, or at least somewhat knowledgeable I had my lettuce knife out, my overshoes on, and was bent over cutting some Hearts while chatting up my buddy Joel. As I was about to say something he perked up, and under his breath said “tenemos visitantes”. His cowboy hat was so low, I had no idea he was able to see the huge 3500 dually Dodge or the small Geo Tracker following it. Yes, we did have some visitors; two cars full of white haired, nicely tanned and fully geared up photographers. I told Joel to “play it cool” and smile because he may make the 6 o’clock news. We both smiled.

The cars with their Birds weren’t going anywhere and our summer harvest plans were finalized. I finished up with Joel and headed out of the field. I walked cool, like you should when going to a voluntary press conference. I knew these folks wanted to know the who, what, where, when, why and how of our operations. I had time to spare, and felt like entertaining.

“We work for a labor contractor. Our job is providing people and equipment to harvest product for the shippers. Me, I’m Anthony. Him, that’s my main guy Joel. The people, they’re the backbone of agriculture.”

I explained to them our operation, cutting Romaine, peeling away the outer leaves, bunching the hearts, gliding them into a bag, passing the bag to another person who sealed them and packed them into the box…end result…Romaine Hearts in their local grocery store.

“Well, we’re in Holtville today. Maybe it’s Yuma tomorrow. In three weeks Huron (Harris Ranch). Five weeks, Santa Maria or Salinas. We travel with the harvest. Yes, people, machines, tractors, trailers, trucks and everyone and thing that make sure we get our job done.

The why and how can be simple, yet very complicated. We need to feed our families by feeding your families. The how? Because we wake up early, work in the dirt all day, get home late and repeat 362 days a year. That’s how you get fresh Romaine Hearts in your store every day of the year.”